Home Is The Wild

Something about my hesitation that weighs

Heavy as gravity. 

  Floods me with muddy chaos,

Dissipates.

So

I fight it.

And I fight it.

After two weeks of seemingly endless email exchanges, I finally got my website back! What a rude awakening it is getting back into this space, seeing the last time I wrote here was almost three months ago. 

Time slips away just like that. Quietly, tracelessly. 

As I've disappeared from the blogosphere, the last few months were spent in somewhat brutally honest self reflection and soul searching. Through days of watching my own internal dialogue, I saw hesitation, and lots of it. From things that were as small as how should I plan my errands, to whether I should commit my evening to reading, blogging or painting, I often found myself drifting in a vast sea of "what if's". The casual but mindless contemplations quickly turned into spiraling doubt, indecision, and somehow along the way, fear.

Maybe it was fear of doing the wrong thing. Or perhaps fear of doing the right thing. Fear of doing the hard thing. The things that will change my world which I've only dreamt of but had never prepared for in reality.

But living by fear is no way to live.

So fuck it if I'm doing the wrong thing, the right thing, or the hard thing. Socrates once said "to know thyself is the beginning to wisdom." I believe trusting myself is the first step. 

These photos were quickly snapped in Prospect Park, Brooklyn, right before the springtime rain down poured on us! But in those moments, there was minimal hesitation, only creative bliss.

Wearing: Lace top by Free People, leather shorts by Urban Outfitters, boots by Acne Studios. 

Photos by my lovely friend Marina Zakhrabova.

Fringe Matter

Who says fringe is only for the summer time? 

These were a few photos taken in the end of fall in November, when the weather has still yet to makeup its mind and I was occasionally able to get away with baring legs. November has been a strange month for me, a lot of things happened at once taking unexpected directions. I was caught by surprise, then stood in that ambiguous place not knowing which way to look is ahead. But with the frustration and hesitation, there were also reflection and some inner resolution. 

I spent my days off in the park, reading, soaking in every particle of the chilly autumn air, and catching the occasional sunshine so warm that you forget it's almost December. With those days I found myself with a growing ability to appreciate, whether rain or sunshine. Because life is truly unpredictable, and the only thing we can do is have a little fun during the ride, right? 

Now let me know what you guys think about the fringe + shearling leather jacket combo!

Wearing: Jacket by Free people, kimono from Buffalo Exchange, knee high boots by Urban Outfitters.

Where We Begin..

Because nothing beats simplicity at times, at this striped maxi skirt allows me to do just that without being boring!

Another one of my wardrobe favorites from Free People.. I think I need to branch out a little in terms of favoritism in my closet (or at least be paid as a brand evangelist?!)

The soft cotten material and double slit allow me to show just enough skin and still be super comfortable. I know it's also going to be one of my transitional pieces that I will layer with cool bombers and cropped sweaters. But for now, an easy breezy tank will do.

What transitional pieces do you have prepared for August? Love to know in the comments below :)

Wearing: Tank top by Forever 21, Skirt by Free People, Booties from Piperlime.com